Diary

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Welcome to my DIARY this year 2017! I know this is a bit personal but I just want to share and expose this so I would feel light and free because I know I have this diary to lean on and is willing to hear all my personal dramas in life. If you get to read this by now then, WOW, you’re lucky enough because you know now something about the REAL me. πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‹πŸ˜™

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6/19/17

Dear Diary,

I’m walking along the hallway and as I about to reach the door exit, I suddenly saw them having an intimate talk, in which, I know nothing about. I don’t know if it was even true but it made me feel that they were real. I saw them in both naked eyes. I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know what to say after seeing that scene. It hurts from deep within. πŸ’”

Much love,

LadyFretz

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6/16/17

Dear Diary,

I wanted to believe what I just saw and read today. That I both saw them having happy chitchats and read some possible love posts about the other.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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6/14/17

Dear Diary,

I won’t chase you. Why? ‘Coz I’ve realized I’m not a dog. I know my worth.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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5/31/17

Dear Diary,

I didn’t give up actually. Instead, he was the one who gave up. I was just waiting for him to say those words to end what we had agreed in the contract. We don’t need to force nor beg anyone to stay in our life. In the end, it’s still their choice if they want to be part of it. With this, I’ve realized 6 important qualities, in which, I value the most when it comes to having a relationship:
-Time
-Effort
-Love
-Respect
-Presence and
-Consistency

Much love,

LadyFretz

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5/23/17

Dear Diary,

I’m actually getting flashbacks from my past right now. Memories during HS days. What does this mean? I mean why? Why do I feel so sad and heartbroken all of a sudden. It always brought me to tears. Is there something or someone I need to go back to? πŸ˜­πŸ’”

Much love,

LadyFretz

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5/14/17

Dear Diary,

I guess it’s over. It has been said and done. He just popped it. I knew it from the start that he would end up like everyone else. No one stays for a one. Everything is only temporary.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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5/13/17

Dear Diary,

Yes, I am smiling. But don’t let that fool you. Look into my eyes. I am breaking inside. πŸ˜­πŸ’”

Much love,

LadyFretz

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5/7/17

Dear Diary,

I’ve been single all my life and I’m already used to it. It’s like the spell has been broken since all of a sudden there are two people knocking to my heart now for they want to enter and be part of it. They both make me happy and giddy actually. I both like them. I really do. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way all at the same time, but it makes me thought to have two hearts instead so that I can love two people for me not to get confused of who I’m going to choose between them.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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5/5/17

Dear Diary,

I’m confused as a whole person. Even my heart is confused. I don’t know what to do. Help me G. πŸ˜’πŸ’”

Much love,

LadyFretz

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4/29/17

Dear Diary,

Island Hopping was so much fun! Been to 3 islands and they were all wonderful. God’s beautiful creation indeed. Had a great time together with Team NiΓ±o. I was not really under his supervision, but I have teammates now, who were under him before and the good thing about it, outsiders are allowed to come and join so why not grab the opportunity. Besides they invited me as well. Travel is everything. It’s like a food for the soul. I’m so happy I’m able now to go places I’ve never been before little by little. Thank you, G! 😚

Much love,

LadyFretz

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4/16/17

Dear Diary,

We’re back to normal and I can say that we’re now good friends. I’m happy of what we are right now. 😊

Much love,

LadyFretz

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4/9/17

Dear Diary,

I’ve already eaten my pride and took the chance just to tell him everything he needs to know. Can’t believe I did it myself though it took me days to do such thing. I don’t care about the outcome as long as I was able to tell him those words that I’ve been wanting to convey towards him, that’s already enough. I’m now at peace and no more heavy heart. It will no longer haunts me. 😊

Much love,

LadyFretz

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4/6/17

Dear Diary,

I was about to tell him what I feel inside and I already conditioned myself for anything that would possibly happened. My mindset, as long as I could confess to him everything, that would be enough and that would make me happy. If he rejects and ignores it, no matter what his decision would be, I would respect that. If he doesn’t want me in his life anymore, I would take that, because I somehow deserve that kind of treatment after all I did to him innocently. I did chat him today and it seems he’s diverting his attention now to something and doesn’t want to talk or hear me out anymore unlike what we were before. It’s no longer the same. It deeply hurts within. Swear. πŸ’”

Much love,

LadyFretz

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4/3/17

Dear Diary,

Had so much fun in Olango Island together with my co-trainees for CORP-ERD. I’m so happy I get to experience this in this lifetime. Our 2 days and 1 night were all well-spent and well-accommodated by Anton. Our island hopping turned out to be island walking like literally. HAHAHA. We need to travel while we’re still young and able. To unwind and escape reality somehow. I’m looking forward for more travels and adventures. So excited to go to places I’ve never been! πŸ˜„

Much love,

LadyFretz

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4/1/17

Dear Diary,

I think of this a couple of times already and finally have the guts to tell him something very important that he needs to know, but I can’t do it today since it’s April Fools Day. He might misinterpret it again that I was just fooling him around. I guess I’ll do it some other time then.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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3/28/17

Dear Diary,

I saw him thrice today. I just realized in myself that I missed him.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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3/26/17

Dear Diary,

I’m not an easy person to love but I’d like to think I’m worth it. ☺

Much love,

LadyFretz

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3/21/17

Dear Diary,

It’s been 2 years exactly today since I graduated from college. Time flies so fast. Until now I’m still confused of what the future holds. #MCL πŸ˜ŒπŸŽ“

Much love,

LadyFretz

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3/17/17

Dear Diary,

I thank Joy so much for accompanying me today in watching Beauty And The Beast at Ayala mall. She also wants to watch it so we decided to watch together. Since watching movies became my hobby, now I’m supposed to watch it with someone I love but he’s no longer by my side anymore. If only we’re still in good terms, this could be our bonding and date together. In just a snap, he’s gone by the wind.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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3/16/17

Dear Diary,

Confessed everything to G somehow to ease the pain inside. Went to Sto. NiΓ±o earlier because I really need to see and talk to Him. Thank you G for always being there for me.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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3/13/17

Dear Diary,

I cry silently. I cry inside of me. I cry hopelessly because I know I will never breathe your love again. 😳

Much love,

LadyFretz

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3/12/17

Dear Diary,

I got to see him for 3 consecutive days now unexpectedly. I don’t know why but I’m just happy that it happened…. at least.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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3/6/17

Dear Diary,

I love eating so much, but I hate getting fat. πŸ˜’

Much love,

LadyFretz

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3/4/17

Dear Diary,

Back to midshift again. Like why? I don’t want to be transferred to another sup, encounter new faces and adapt to new environment. It’s exhausting and hassle at the same time.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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3/3/17

Dear Diary,

Everything seems to be confirmed between them already. They like each other. Now where would I place myself? I just recently admitted I have a crush towards a person (like finally a person next of course to James Reid mylabs πŸ˜…), but later after that it’s slowly fading knowing you like someone else. It hurts but I guess I need to move on and it takes time. 😏

Much love,

LadyFretz

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3/2/17

Dear Diary,

I just found out something today that hurts my feelings. My crush is being linked to someone else. I thought it was just sort of a joke that we made in our groupchat like pushing him and her towards each other. But what hurts is she’s our teammate who already has children, single mom. I think she likes him and what shocks me is apparently he’s also reciprocating the feeling. Like why would he fell for her? I mean, age gap you know almost 10yrs I guess. I don’t even know why I’m feeling this way. It hurts! It’s just so OA! This is not me! I really hate this feeling. πŸ˜­πŸ’”

Much love,

LadyFretz

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2/25/17

Dear Diary,

I just noticed someone today who was always saying “Hi” to me by the time I arrived and everytime he sees me on the floor. Like very consistent after all. I find it cute gesture of him doing that. He’s nice though and I don’t know but I’m starting to like him. He’s now my crush. ☺

Much love,

LadyFretz

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2/19/17

Dear Diary,

I guess he really gave up on me. There’s nothing I can do then, but accept it. I felt just a bit guilty of not answering that “YES or NO” question that he’s been wanting to know. That’s why these past few days, I’ve been trying to win back the friendship but it seems too late because apparently as the days go by, he has slowly moving on without letting me know.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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2/18/17

Dear Diary,

Team Mykee just had a little get-together/outing at Camp Lapu-Lapu today. It was fun to bond with your teammates away from stress and spending long hours on taking calls. I just have a new-found friend as well. 😁

Much love,

LadyFretz

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2/14/17

Dear Diary,

I just want to thank Adrian for giving me a cute V-Day gift which looks like a heart-shaped lollipop so I won’t feel bad and alone during Valentine’s Day. He knows what I’ve been through after all the chitchats we had. He’s like a brother and counsellor to me. Hihi πŸ˜‚. You’re so sweet and thoughtful! Jolina is so blessed to have you. ❀

Much love,

LadyFretz

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2/11/17

Dear Diary,

Happy 1st Anniversary to us mylabs James Reid! Looking forward to many years together with you. πŸ˜™β€

Much love,

LadyFretz

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2/8/17

Dear Diary,

You can’t judge my choices without understanding my reasons.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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2/7/17

Dear Diary,

If you can’t understand my silence, then you will never understand my words.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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2/6/17

Dear Diary,

Everything happens for a reason. Forget those who forgot you. Just go ahead and leave. I won’t chase because if you wanted, you would.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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2/4/17

Dear Diary,

I just can’t believe that all this time he just used me so he could get his “one great love” back in his arms. Poor me! I somehow believe and appreciated his efforts, words and actions. Everything was a pure lie. Now I know why I don’t put my trust to boys that much, why I just go with the flow with them and the reason why I’m single. They’re just not worth it.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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2/3/17

Dear Diary,

People come and go. Not everyone is meant to stay. That’s life.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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2/2/17

Dear Diary,

We don’t talk anymore like we used to do. I miss the person whose chat head would always pop up everytime I turn my wifi on. I miss those times when he was the only person I chat with, trying to keep the communication between us and would always thought of your welfare. He would always be the same person I think of when I wake up in the morning and before going to bed for we say “Good Morning” and “Good Night” with each other consistently.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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2/1/17

Dear Diary,

Everything is temporary; people, emotions, situations and feelings. Don’t get attached to it, just flow with it.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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1/31/17

Dear Diary,

I’m always suspicious of anyone that finds me attractive. lol

Much love,

LadyFretz

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1/30/17

Dear Diary,

Stop holding on to people that have already let you go.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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1/29/17

Dear Diary,

I thought he’s different from the rest. I thought he actually cared. I thought he would fight for his feelings. I thought he already holds the key. But I was all wrong. πŸ˜πŸ˜”

Much love,

LadyFretz

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1/28/17

Dear Diary,

It’s been ages and we’re finally complete in one picture! Thank you so much, G, for we have a legit family dinner today. We get to bond and all. It’s somewhat papa’s post-birthday celebration plus Chinese New Year.
KUNG HEI FAT CHOI FROM US!!! 😍πŸ‘ͺπŸ’—πŸŽ†πŸŽ‰πŸ“

Much love,

LadyFretz

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1/27/17

Dear Diary,

Don’t chase people. Be you, do your own thing and work hard. The right people who belong in your life will come to you, and stay.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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1/26/17

Dear Diary,

“Tinkerbell has always been there for Peter. And Peter? He chose Wendy”. It seems I’m like Peter right now. πŸ˜•

Much love,

LadyFretz

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1/25/17

Dear Diary,

I think he misunderstood that moment. That’s not what I really meant. He perceived the wrong idea. In fact, I haven’t even provided the answer to his question yet. I’m just confused and don’t want to answer for the meantime. Haven’t he realized the thought of “Silence means YES”? Can we just prolong the friendship first before we get to that stage? 😏

Much love,

LadyFretz

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1/23/17

Dear Diary,

I hate that I’m CONFUSED and BALIMBING at the same time. Sorry guys for being like this. I think it started when I graduated from college. Seems everything slaps on my face that hey wake up this is now the real world and this is what and how it feels like. Very opposite to what I used to. One thing I’m sure of, I know what I wanted in my life. But I just don’t know where to end up with.

Much love,

LadyFretz

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1/17/17

Dear Diary,

Bed weather today. So cold. It’s like I’m hibernating here all day long. πŸ˜‚

Much love,

LadyFretz

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1/9/17

Dear Diary,

Happy Anniversary to us, baby J7!!! I can still recall the day I bought you and I was extremely happy knowing the fact that finally I have a legit phone, in which, I can call my own. You’re the fruit of my labor while working in Q. πŸ˜’πŸ˜™β€

Much love,

LadyFretz

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1/1/17

Dear Diary,

Happy New Year everyone!!! It’s a brand new year. Need to start the year right. Time to heal all the wounds. Forgive and forget. Be happy and everything will fall into its place. ❀

Much love,

LadyFretz

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